I Loves M’Gun


Do You Feel Lucky?A female friend of mine got a shooting range day pass and fifty rounds of ammo for her birthday. I love that. Welcome to Alberta. Although, to be fair, in most of Alberta, the shooting range would be the back forty, and you wouldn’t need a special occasion to pop a cap or two, regardless of gender.

When I told her and her husband (the giver of said gift) how cool it was, they invited me along. At the range, we agreed on 9mm semi-automatic handguns at 7 metres. (I’ll have to go back to try the Colt 45 Long Barrel. The thing is longer than my forearm. Ridiculous.)

After delivering a lengthy safety and procedures briefing, the Range Master led us onto the range and we unleashed hot-leaded hell on a bunch of paper targets.

Holy hairy Moses it was an experience. The Range Master was very helpful with tips and explanations, even assisting us as we tried to load our stiff-springed “mags” with ammo.

Ed’s Note: Pictured above is Josh’s target, in the recognizable shape of a human body. Everyone else was using the more traditional, bulls-eye black and white targets. Something of a psycho litmus test, perhaps.

My favourite part was before we even started shooting. A sign of rules on the wall listed the following at number 2: "Never cover the end of the gun with anything you do not want to destroy." Classic. It makes one start musing about destroyable things.

Since the targets were only 7 metres away (in the photo, I’ve brought my target in close, but you can see the marker on the wall on the right-hand side), we all did pretty well. At one point I pushed mine back to 15 metres, and emptied a clip at the guy’s… er… target’s head, and didn’t land a single hit. It doesn’t look very far, but there seems to be little correlation between where you point the gun, and where the bullet makes the hole.

The lesson? If I ever come after you with a 9mm pistol, get more than 15 metres away, and stand still. I won’t even be able to wing you.

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