Ten years ago, my friend Alan gave me a journal. I have never liked the idea of journals, but the strange thing is that when I make myself write in them, I enjoy it. I think my problem is that I just don’t like the idea of having to write in them.
In the years since, I’ve received many journals from people who want to encourage my writing
and I’ve written bits and pieces in all of them. Today, cleaning my condo and moving stuff back and forth from my storage room, I found these journals and poked through them.
This entry from February 24th, 1997, made me stop and stare at the page:
I miss writing very much but I worry that as each day passes I tend to worry more about money and less about destiny.
My father once said that if you wanted to take a risk with your life, there was no better place to do it than Canada, and I think he’s right. But this is a hard thing to consider when you’ve just signed up for decades of mortgage payments and become accustomed to a life of steak and chocolate.
Do I pick up and move to a small town where I can rent for a year for less than my mortgage payments in Calgary? Sell everything but my Mac and my guitar? After all, one look at my condo almost a year after I moved in will tell you that I’m not much of a homemaker.
This would be easier if I felt like I knew what I was supposed to write.
#1 by mom - January 4th, 2008 at 09:54
Josh…..I have spent some time journalling ( not sure of the spelling) and it is uber important when you are going through tough emotional times. Even just everyday feelings or events are very entertaining when you go back and read them years later. You have such a gift that what you might consider mundane writing would later be eye opening ideas. I found that before I turned out the light I would take my journal and start by thinking of the day or week and put down some thoughts. Some nights I would just write a few simple notes and other nights I would have a flurry of great wisdom (ya me)
So please think about it. Love you Mom