Christmas Misspeakings

Go With Your Gut


Over the holidays, I was lucky enough to be able to visit my good friend Ian, and his wife Andrea, at their newly-improved home. During the guided tour, we exited the kitchen into the front hall, I saw this cool little lay-down-couch-thing beside a table with a phone. Called a “chaise lounge,” it appealed to the geek in me for its efficient use of space, and convenient access to both remove one’s shoes or recline during a phone call. Then it all went bad.

In my excitement to show my appreciation of this new feature, I second-guessed myself; I started to say, “That’s awesome!” but then thought that would sound a bit juvenile. I then wracked my brain for a better adjective, but my mouth had already started the sentence. I quickly considered “That’s a wonderful use of space!” but declined that as too metrosexual. But as I had already begun speaking, the two adjectives combined in a horrible, awkward dry-hump:

“That’s awful!” I said. And with such gusto and enthusiasm that I was entirely unable to recover, and wound up overselling the whole thing, including some exaggerated luxuriation. But seriously, it was a really cool setup.

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