How I Know I am Officially Fat

or "The Crumb Catcher"


I know I’m not fat in a head-turning way. But I have been in denial about the size of my swelling paunch. Until today.

Last night, I made a bunch of chocolate chip cookies, for a Thanksgiving Dinner I’m attending today (thanks, Amy and Joe!). Some of them got a bit burnt, so I was eating them for breakfast.

Here’s the scenario: I was standing up, glass of milk in hand, crunchy cookie en route to mouth. I took a bite, and some crumbs came loose, and landed in my bellybutton.

Let me say that again. The crumbs landed in my bellybutton.

And I was standing up.

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