Sorry to sound like a bad car dealership ad. The Calgary Sport Chek Mother's Day Run & Walk is cranking up again, and I've decided to go whole hog with the fundraising (and my resolutions).

The support I've received for these runs has been fantastic, but I realized that I'm kind of mooching off others, so I thought it was time I ponied up some of my own dough into the pot.

This year, for every $10 you donate, you'll get one entry into a draw I will hold after the run. If I run in my "new year's resolution" time of 25:00 or less, I'll write the winner a cheque in the amount of their donation, up to $100. If I run slower than 25:00, the winner will receive double the amount of their donation, up to $200! The race uses a timing chip, and times are published in the Calgary Herald, so I couldn't cheat if I wanted to.

In addition, all donations of $20 or more will receive tax receipts (applicable in Canada only, so American friends, you may want to make the donation in the name/address of a Canadian relative or friend).

I've had a couple of acquaintances who have given birth prematurely, and this run will raise much-needed cash to help the neonatal intensive care doctors and nurses have the necessary equipment to help parents (and the preemies!) through this difficult time. Here's how easy it is to support this great cause:

1. Make out a cheque (sadly, Sport Chek has not adopted online donations yet) to The Forzani Group Foundation, dated May 9th or earlier.
2. Send me the cheque, along with your full name and address (including postal code-- this is so you can get your tax receipt). If you don't know my address, whip me off an email and I'll send it along immediately. (I just don't want to post it online. If you're not sure you have the right one, a hint is that the street number has two 9's in it, and the suite number has two 4's in it).
3. Stay tuned for the draw!

If you have any questions, drop me a line or post a comment. Thanks in advance for your support, and I hope for the winner's sake that I'm slow as molasses. I sure as hell won't be training very hard.

I didn't even last a week. Three days into my resolution, I logged on to Facebook. In my defense, it was quasi-accidental. Here's what happened:

When I meet new, interesting people, I often Google them to find out a little bit about their background, their accomplishments,
or anything else that might be interesting. These Googlings are surprisingly effective and fruitful.

So a couple of days ago, I was Googling someone, and a link to their Facebook profile appeared in Google's search results. These results are a relatively new feature of Facebook-- in the past, Facebook didn't expose their accounts to Google's searches-- so I was intrigued when I saw the link and knew it would be a good source of information, since it was essentially maintained by the person themselves.

When I clicked the link, I had to login. When I logged in, I saw the person's profile, which I read. It wasn't until I had finished reading that I realized what I had done: I was on Facebook. Fuck! Essentially, I was in my "research" mode, whereas when I usually go on Facebook, I am in "killing time" mode; I connect Facebook with doing nothing productive, so I was unable to connect a legitimate use of Facebook with my resolution.

I logged out immediately. I did not read any mail, check any of my friends' walls, open my notifications, or any of the normal things I do when using the site, so I am cutting myself some slack: I am starting this resolution over again.

So I have finally decided on my New Year's Resolutions for 2008. After spending 2007 without having a drink of alcohol, I feel like I need to do something at least as difficult this year.

To recap, my resolutions last year were:

1. No booze (Check!)
2. Write on my blog every week (Not so much!)
3. Make a concerted effort to meet my future wife (Maybe?)

For 2008, I've decided on the following:

• Health
  1. Flexibility: be able to touch my toes (seriously)
  2. Fitness: bench press my weight 3 times, do 60 situps in a minute, and run 5K in under 25 minutes
  3. Eating: finish half of what I cook for meals and eat out only once per week
• Wealth
  1. Contribute regularly to an RRSP
  2. Consolidate my remaining debt and eliminate 33%
  3. Buy less expensive/used items as much as possible
• Wisdom
  1. Only check Facebook once a week
  2. Take notes when reading important books relating to my masters
  3. Make time to catch up with family and friends

Oddly, of all of these, the Facebook one will be the hardest to keep. I've been thinking about them over the past couple of weeks, and every time I feel the urge to Facebook, I remind myself that I will have to learn to say no. But I don't want to. It is an urge that goes far beyond any urge I ever had to drink alcohol.

Facebook is an amazing phenomenon. Despite its repeated, inexcusable privacy debacles, not only has it survived, but Microsoft recently spent over $200 million dollars to buy a 1% share! It is such a time vacuum that many professional workplaces have blocked it from their computers. In other words, they don't trust that their employees will be able to resist it long enough to complete their work-related duties.

If you don't think this is a serious addiction, note that there are already two websites ready to setup 12-step plans once people realize they can't kick the habit.

It's been over a year, but I finally cranked out another poem. It's been a while in the making, and I still don't know if it's just right, but nothing much ever is.

It's called Correlations.

Once again, here I am ready to write something, and the topic that comes to mind is the new girlfriend. She's a special model, with all the top-of-the-line sexy, snuggly, healthy, funny, sporty, smarty features you would expect in a high-end female, but none of the judgemental, conceited, neurotic artifacts found in some other premium women with poorer build quality.
If you remember back to January, I made several New Year's resolutions for 2007. What I didn't mention was that I had another, secret resolution that I didn't share publicly: to meet the woman who would be my partner.
What's interesting is how all of these resolutions, both public and now not-so-secret, seem to intertwine in a way I never could have anticipated. I'm a big fan of The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo, which hammers home the idea that once you have committed to your own "personal legend," the universe will conspire to make it happen. To make it manifest itself based solely on your decision to pursue it. This dovetails perfectly with what I believe about fate, but until January, I had understood it only superficially, and never given myself over to the simplicity and innocence of it, this idea of creating my own destiny by manifesting my desires.
I don't believe in coincidences. Nor do I encourage reading too much into the events that seem to have happened "for a reason." But... well, you be the judge. Let me tell you how I met her.

I was at the Calgary Teachers' convention post-session brouhaha, at Cowboys nightclub. It was packed so tightly that it took serious strength of body and will to move the 20 feet from my spot by the DJ booth to the bar. A group of female teachers had settled in beside me and my friends, and I was immediately struck by one of them: I couldn't tell whether I recognized her, or just wished I recognized her.

For the next hour and a half I wracked my brain trying to determine if I knew her, and if so, from where. I was too intimidated to approach her without some legitimate connection. Finally, it dawned on me that we had met briefly in my final year of university, and even then I had been attracted to her.

Her group shifted so that she was standing directly beside me. I stepped in and put my hand on the small of her back. "Do you know how we know each other?" I asked. "No," she said. But she smiled.

Once I explained the connection, she recognized me immediately. Turns out I had long hippy hair when she had first met me, and nobody who knew me like that would know me like this. We talked non-stop for an hour. Then I had to leave-- I was the designated driver, and my friends had to meet some other folks at a bar down the street. She insisted I take her phone number. My friends and I left.

At the next bar, the people we were supposed to meet didn't show. We stood outside with one guy whose wife was coming to pick him up. He told us to leave, but we insisted on hanging out. After he was safely shuttled off, we walked back past Cowboys-- it was random, and the wrong direction, a thoughtlessly longer route to the C-train-- but in the instant we passed the line up, she bounded out of the front door, into the night air with us. I smiled, and offered my arm. She took it with the familiarity of an old friend. It was early, so we drove my friend home and then went back to my place and talked for hours. We just talked, and then she went home. It feels like we've seen each other every day since then, but I'm sure that can't be the case.

What does this have to do with fate? Manifesting destiny? Making my resolutions come true? Here's my take:

If I hadn't resolved to stop drinking for a year (resolution 1), I would have been too drunk to recognize her at the bar (potential secret resolution). If I hadn't met her, I would never have been motivated enough to adjust my diet and exercise (resolution 3).
However, if these other resolutions hadn't come together with such ferocious precision, I might have had more time to write to this blog (resolution 2).

Oh well. Two out of three ain't bad.

And boy, do I ever have something to write about.

I hope everyone had a safe and fun New Year's Eve celebration, and a great Xmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, whatever. For my part, I managed to spend some quality time with the family and also see a couple of friends while I was back home.

Here are some things I have resolved to do in 2007:

1. No alcohol until New Year's Eve 2007. Seriously. I'm not really sure why I'm doing this, but I've found that the last few benders, social cocktails, and poker game beers, have been highly unsatisfying. And expensive.
2. Post to this blog at least once every week. I've got this week covered.
3. Eat smaller portions. I'm not fat, but I'm not really exercising either, and I've noticed that when I cook for myself, I tend to each everything. Even when the recipe says "Makes 8 servings."

I think that should do it. Post your bets on when each resolution fails in the comments. I will be honest about whether I stick to this or not.