How to Get Away From the Cops: "Run Like Crazy."

You’d think the cops have the whole custody thing worked out by now. I mean, I’ve seen enough movies and TV to know that criminals try to escape by kicking out car windows, faking incapacitation, hiding in large laundry hampers, and even covering their own face with the sliced off face off a police officer (a la “Silence of the Lambs”). Knowing this, I would certainly be on the lookout for these techniques after making an arrest.

The Victoria Times-Colonist reported about a former ministerial assistant who was arrested a second time for drug trafficking. Arrested with the assistant was another man, who “was taken from jail to hospital when officers feared he might be suffering from a drug overdose.” Hmmm… sounds fishy to me. But then again, I’m not a highly trained, drug-savvy police officer.

Apparently it’s tough to keep track of a criminal who’s been taken to hospital, because of all those pesky doctors and nurses. The old “handcuff to the bed” thing never occurred to this crack squad of law enforcers, since, as recorded in the best newpaper line in recent memory, “the man escaped by ‘running like crazy.’”