The Best Laid Plans


I would like to start today over. Some best laid plans all gang ague or whatever the hell that saying is.

Started off by cleaning my wallet. Took out the bus tickets I use to get to campus, followed by all the receipts and papers that I keep for reference or the recycler, and got my wallet all nice and thin again. Packed up my book bag and headed to the mall, where the bus station is.

[Ed’s Note: Did you see the gang all agueing?]

Ten minutes later I arrived on the platform, and the 95 bus was pulling up. Perfect timing. Opened my wallet… uh, hey, where the hell are my bus tickets?

Ah yes. Forgot to put them back in my wallet after the whole wallet-cleaning episode. Back to the house then. But first, feeling peckish, I decided to grab some food. I’m at the mall, so why not be efficient and eat while I’m stuck here anyway?

Ordered a rice bowl with chicken. Sat down at a table in the food court, put my book bag on the chair across from me

[Ed’s Note: I think you see where this is heading.]

and polished off the rice bowl, while pushing to the halfway point in Jeffrey Archer’s “As the Crow Flies.” Took my tray to the garbage bin, emptied it, then proceeded home, reading my book.

Another ten minutes later I arrived home, and reached in my pocket for my keys. Instead, I found my digital camera. Oh yes, that’s right, I keep the camera in my pocket, and put my keys in…

My book bag. Which is still on the seat in the food court. Geez, I better rush back there. Fortunately my car is right here in the driveway. Unfortunately, the key is on my keychain, which is in my book bag. In the food court.

I pretended to be calmly reading my book as I walked back to the mall. In my head, I was inventorying what I had probably lost: miscellaneous papers (none with any info on how to contact me), my Handspring PDA, the Swiss Army tool Jeff gave me, the “Secret Ottawa” book Maggie gave me, listings of all the househunting info I’d accumulated, and the hands-free earpiece for my phone. Not to mention my only housekey, both my car keys, my Vancouver storage key, and the very cool USB hard-drive Ali gave me recently. Not only will I not be able to get into my house or car, I will also have no way to conveniently move critical data files from one computer to another. Damn!

I continued reading the same paragraph over and over again, retaining nothing, until I arrived at the mall. I saw someone sitting at my table and my heart sank. If somebody was sitting there, it probably meant that there was no bag at the table. Who sits at a table with a bag on it when there are a hundred empty tables in the food court. Apparently, this guy. Coming closer, I saw my bag was still there. I walked up, smiled at him, slung it over my shoulder, and got the hell out of there.

I still didn’t have my bus tickets, so I headed home, deciding that this experience was a sure indicator that I wasn’t meant to go to campus. I will only push my luck so far.

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