My Run for Your Money: Race Results

Or, "Don't Call CNN."


This year’s Mother’s Day Run was a great event, and the turnout was over 14,000 runners, walkers, and wheelchair racers. I know you don’t really give a shit about this– what you really care about is Where’s My Money?!?

Yes, of course. The money.

So the completely unsurprising news is that I didn’t even come close to running the 5K in 25 minutes.

Ed’s Note: In fact, not only did the race add insult to his physical exertion/injury by incorrectly adding over a minute to his time, it added injury to injury when his flesh python wriggled out of his Y-fronts at the 1km mark and proceed to rub up against his jogging pants. His rough, nylon jogging pants.

Yes, he blaming the race for this. Not himself, for his choice of clothing.

Which means that somebody is going to win DOUBLE their money back! Yay!

Again, THANK YOU to all the folks who ponied up– at the end of the day, we’ll have raised over $1,100!!! I say “at the end of the day” because a couple of stragglers are coughing up their dough this week, so I will be putting off the draw until next weekend as promised in my last email.

Thanks again, and stay tuned for the draw results!

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