Just got back from my week out on the left coast. The highlight of the trip was a visit to Gabriola Island, where my GF spent her summers when she was young. Although I did not catch crabs from my GF, it is because of her that I caught as many as I did.

Gabriola's shoreline, like much of the west coast, is ridiculously rich with life. When I showed interest in a tiny crab scuttling along the beach, my GF looked at me with a mixture of compassion and concern, and then told me to stand beside her. She leaned down and flipped over a rock the size of a laptop computer-- dozens of tiny crabs skittered away for new cover. They ranged in size from the size of a toonie to smaller than your fingernail, and while most were dark brown, many were yellow, orange, or even coloured to resemble a mottled stone. They couldn't give you much of a pinch, but to be sure, I learned to pick them up by the rear sides of their shells. I also learned to tell the boys from the girls.
We stayed at a cabin with a dock on a secluded bay. When the tide went down, we went to nearby beaches and picked mussels and oysters off the rocks. My GF's uncle pulled up a bag of clams from the dock that he had left underwater overnight; this way, they would spit out their sand and be edible. We steamed fresh seafood every day and ate it in garlic lemon butter. After dark, we would toss the empty shells in the water and watch the firework glow of the luminescent algae. We stood in the blackness for an hour listening to the progress of a group of otters barking and splashing along the shoreline as they searched for their evening meal.

Bald eagles landed in the trees around us, and a seal poked its head from the water and watched us curiously between its foraging dives. A rainbow of starfish crawled slowly in the seaweed just below the ocean's surface; many were tucked into crevices on the rocks above, inches from the mussels they would devour when the water rose. And deer were everywhere, especially in front of our car on the roads we travelled.

For one glorious week, I reconnected with the part of me that loves the uncontainability of nature, the rawness of our predator/prey relationship, and the harmony and balance I only feel when I'm on the west coast.

Oh, and it rained for seven days. It started the day we arrived and was forecast to end the day we planned to leave. So, we came home a day early.

It was sunny in Calgary.

I needed a snack today, and found that I had only two options: popcorn and oatmeal. I enjoy both these foods, and in a moment of sheer boredom, I decided to see which one was "better" for me.

For the record, I was comparing "President's Choice Blue Menu Trans Fat Free Butter flavour popcorn,"
to "President's Choice Organic Instant Oatmeal." The instant oatmeal was a variety pack, so to be fair, I will show both the best and worst measurements in the comparison. Also, the serving size is one pouch of oatmeal, and one-half bag of popcorn.

Nutrition Fact	Popcorn	Oatmeal Best/Worst
Calories	160	140/150
Fat	2.5g	2/2.5g
Sodium	230mg	125/290mg
Fibre	5g	3/3g
Sugars	0g	1/11g
Protein	4g	5/3g
Vitamin A	6%	0/0%
Calcium	0%	2/2%
Iron	6%	10/8%

I was a bit stunned at how close the numbers were. Keep in mind that in the oatmeal section, the best and worst numbers were scattered among the three flavours, so if you wanted low sodium, you also got higher calories. Overall, the regular oatmeal was the healthiest, but it also had the lowest fibre. And, being "plain," you can be sure I would have had to add brown sugar. I mean, who the hell eats plain oatmeal?!?
So the moral of the story seems to be that you're not paying any huge dietary price to have popcorn instead of oatmeal.
If anybody wants to add their own startling nutrition facts, or refute what I've concluded above, please leave a comment. Meanwhile, I hear the last lonely pops of my afternoon snack calling.

I might need some pop to wash it down. Don't tell my girlfriend I'm eating this.

I broke down and bought a stove. I was out shopping for crap for my condo
and noticed that there was a Trail Appliances amidst the forest of box stores. I went by with the intent of tearing them a new one because my barbecue still isn't fixed,
and ended up buying a new stove from their scratch 'n' dent section.

This was a horrible idea for two reasons:

1. I wasn't getting the "builder discount" and free delivery I could have received from the place affiliated with my condo.
2. Murphy's Law.

However, it was a great unit, and exactly what I wanted, heavily discounted.
They "schedule" the delivery for Wednesday. The word "schedule" means that I will get a call an hour before they show up. This is no big deal, since I was on spring break, and only had an 8am doctor's appointment. They never deliver that early.
So at 7:55am, on the road to my appointment, I get a call that the delivery people will be at my place around 9. My appointments usually take about 30 minutes, which should give me lots of time to get back. It's only an eye checkup, after all!
The guy who does my vision test has a bizarre combination of ambition and incompetence. He's very focused (pun intended) on getting my prescription correct, but he's not very skilled at using the machine. Several times, he asks me to choose between two lenses
while he is standing directly between the machine and the eye chart. It took him 20 minutes to do my right eye. By the time I met the doctor for the physical exam, my phone was vibrating with the third call from the delivery guys, wondering where the hell I was.

The delivery was rescheduled for the next day, and I was told I would get the one hour notice, as well as a four hour notice. I sat around all day, and at 4:45pm, got a call saying they would be there around 6. At 6:45, I got a call saying they were downstairs. I let them in, and they wrestled the stove into position, only to find
that it didn't fit my countertop. That's right. A standard 30" slide-in stove, but my counters were too high for the little edges on the stove top.

In a moment of quiet fury, I thanked them for their work and sent them on their way.

The next evening, I borrowed some tiles from the construction zone that is my underground parking garage, and used them to build two ledges which would raise the stove enough to allow me to slide it into place. There was no way I could move the appliance by myself as it was, so earlier in the day I went to Rona and got some plastic "glides" that go under the feet of heavy furniture to make sliding them much easier. So with an outlay of roughly $10, 3 hours of my time, and a few ounces of sweat, I was able to slip my new stove into position and level it perfectly.

It looked fantastic. I plugged it in.
The clock came on, but it was off by a couple of hours. I intuitively pushed the "Clock" button, but nothing happened. Hm. Maybe I was doing this wrong. I got out the manual and looked up how to set the time. Step 1: Push the "Clock" button. I pushed the "Clock" button again. The display flashed in red: "CONV BAKE: 350 START?" Whoa. That can't be good. I pushed "Cancel" and it disappeared.

So now I'm stuck with the wrong time. And then the beeping starts. At random time intervals, the oven will beep three times. BEEP BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP BEEP. It's fantastic. It's like instead of an oven I can use to prepare food to feed my stomach, I've purchased a whimsical electronic bird whose song feeds my ears.

Then I notice the display: E0 -F2-. I push "Cancel" and it goes away. Then more beeps, and the error comes back: E0 -F2-. I clear it again. This continues intermittently for several hours until I finally unplug it.

I looked up the error online, and it says that the keypad is shorted out. I need a new keypad.

So I called Trail Appliances.
The earliest date is two weeks from now, on a Wednesday. I told them that I work during the day, but when I asked about a weekend booking, the helpful woman on the phone said, "The earliest date I have is May 5th."

I feel like that girl in the song who "swallowed the spider to catch the fly..."

That song has a happy ending, right?

Like most things I set my mind to, the decision to put off buying a stove is putting a huge cramp in my lifestyle. But on the flip side, as it usually happens when my lifestyle is cramped, I have adapted with only minor discomfort, and a good story. In fact, it's amazingly easy to live with only a microwave and fridge, as long as you are willing to eat out a lot.
For example: 2 large pizzas from the place down the street cost me $24 including tip. These pies will last me at least 4 dinners, and I do have a fridge and microwave in order to make them palatable.

If I want to eat better, I splurge on sushi, or a dinner or soup/sandwich combo from The Main Dish.

All of these places are either attached to, across the street from, or within a 5 minute walk from, my condo. It's awesome.
I understand that some people live by microwave and fridge alone, and I intend to investigate this phenomenon the next time I visit my grocer's freezer aisle. I am very interested in a specific brand known as Hungry Man, that focuses on the weight of their dinners, rather than the taste.
I have several pounds of Alberta beef in my freezer, waiting for my barbecue to be delivered, but after I put it together and connected it to the gas, the burners acted... well, funny.
I'm going to take a video and put it on here soon so you can see what I'm talking about. And so I can blackmail the repair company until they hurry up and fix it.

Meanwhile, I use my microwave so much that I've actually appreciated its feature to turn off the beeping noise. BEEP... BEEP... BEEEEEEEEEEP.

I hope everyone had a safe and fun New Year's Eve celebration, and a great Xmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, whatever. For my part, I managed to spend some quality time with the family and also see a couple of friends while I was back home.

Here are some things I have resolved to do in 2007:

1. No alcohol until New Year's Eve 2007. Seriously. I'm not really sure why I'm doing this, but I've found that the last few benders, social cocktails, and poker game beers, have been highly unsatisfying. And expensive.
2. Post to this blog at least once every week. I've got this week covered.
3. Eat smaller portions. I'm not fat, but I'm not really exercising either, and I've noticed that when I cook for myself, I tend to each everything. Even when the recipe says "Makes 8 servings."

I think that should do it. Post your bets on when each resolution fails in the comments. I will be honest about whether I stick to this or not.

I am getting back to simple pleasures. Homemade chocolate chip cookies are a great start. The recipe I tried included vanilla pudding mix, but it wasn't worth the extra effort.

In the background is a piece of excellent rib steak, and a pot of slimy, disgusting okra.

Guess which one I didn't eat.

In other "home" news, I just found out that I actually qualify for enough mortgage to buy a ridiculously overvalued condo, which will be even more ridiculously overvalued as each month passes (if I'm lucky). However, if my previous financial luck holds, the market will tank in January. My house-owning friends, take heed: you have been warned.

I hope the folks who couldn't afford housing appreciate my sacrifice come February.

Even though I've lived in large cities most of my adult life, I haven't embraced the cultural diversity they offered until recently. And by diversity, I mean what they consume.

A friend of mine has helped me discover Calgary's tiny Chinatown, as well as some incredible Asian and Italian markets.

My favourite discovery recently is Gunpowder Mint tea, which is delicious and insanely cheap. You should be able to get a good-sized box of loose Gunpowder tea at any Asian foods store, or tea specialty store, for a couple of dollars. Next you need fresh mint leaves; at the same Asian foods store, a big bag of fresh mint was less than two dollars.

I don't have a big teapot, or a tea ball in which to hold loose tea leaves, but I've found that my bodum works like a charm. Drop in a tablespoon of loose Gunpowder tea, a small handful of mint leaves, and about 4 tablespoons of sugar (or more or less to taste, obviously). Fill with boiling water, and stir to dissolve the sugar. Let it steep for about a minute, and then drink it. This should make about 3 cups of tea, and of course you can play with the ratios/steep time if it's not to your liking.

It's to my liking.

In case you were following along back there, the herb planter I bought in July is almost completely dead. There is some hope for the rosemary, but from what I can tell, rosemary would grow if you ripped it out of the soil and threw on the cold concrete floor of your fruit cellar.

My friend Aliza has graciously adopted the planter and is attempting to resuscitate the little leaflings, but neither of us is optimistic. Considering that all of this was originally just a way for me to have easy access to fresh basil, we've decided that Aliza, who (along with most of my other female friends) has pots of basil bursting all over the house, will allow me to come by for basil picking whenever necessary, as long as I promise not to kill any more plants.

I really tried to keep the thing alive. It was scary how quickly it pointed out my incompetence, by dying.

I used some of my new herbs in an omelette yesterday. It was awful. I guess red basil doesn't go with eggs so much.

In other herb news, the thyme and oregano are beginning to droop and wither, as is the greek basil. The red and regular basil are faring well, and the rosemary is stiffer than a quarterback on prom night.

The main problem is that my apartment gets very little direct sunlight, so the more sensitive plants are starving to death. This is too bad, as I'm finally interested in keeping plants alive, now that I can eat them.